Fifty Shades of Ehh

There I was, some random morning, browsing my FB newsfeed, when I see some distant relative's post about reading "Fifty Shades of Grey." 


"I just have to know what it's all about" she says.


Me, being the nosy person I am, immediately Google the book. Amazon gives a very vague description : "Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever."


Boring. So I scroll down to the reviews... 


5.0 out of 5 stars Deeply Disturbing, Compelling and Completely Addicting
"I am not into BDSM stories, but I have to say that I really loved this one. This was one of those books that keeps you glued to the pages; staying up reading into the early morning. I found it to be very addicting which is really disturbing for me."


Please don't laugh (I am usually not this niave) but then I had to google what BDSM meant. 


Then I had to look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.


Ok, so by this time I was intrigued. What kind of book by a first time, unknown author gets over 5,000 high rated reviews? And how is this dirty little novel on the top seller's list and not tucked into the depths of the $1.99 smut downloads?


Please note that this was back in March, before every woman in American secretly download the "mommy porn" and was fanning themselves with their "How to Spice Up Your Marriage" pamphlets. 


So after making fun of this relative for publicly declaring on FB that she was reading about dirty bondage, I couldn't resist and decided to suggest the book as my book club's next pick. 

Where else would I be able to suggest reading a raunchy bondage novel and have 4 hands shoot up in agreement? 


So the reading began. I will just give you the short end of it.

Read it with no expectations. There is no way to avoid a book that is responsible for a 300% increase in a certain adult toy's sales. (readers will know what I am talking about). 

It's not exceptionally written and the plot isn't that thrilling. I personally enjoyed the descriptions of the rich guy's condo just as much as the sex. Which might prove that I need to get off the "home decor" section of Pinterest and get a real life. 


I liked it at first. I really did. I read all three of the books in less that a month. But now, as I am rereading  parts of the book, I am slightly embarrassed.  Case in point: 


"Glancing guiltily over my shoulder at the door, I feel the bristles of the toothbrush. They are damp. He must have used it already. Grabbing it quickly, I squirt toothpaste on it and brush my teeth in double-quick time. I feel so naughty. It's such a thrill." 


Oh, no you didn't. Bad Anastasia, bad.


Maybe it's because everyone loves the book. It's like my dirty guilty pleasure got uncovered and passed on and now it's the uber "cool" thing to read, which makes it uncool to all the people who discovered it before the masses. (my 13 year old self is rolling her eyes: "that was SO 5 minutes ago).


I really don't hate the books, I just giggle at them in retrospect. There was some actual hot scenes. And don't get me wrong, the main character is hot, smoldering, pouty, rich and irresistible. What's not the like? I am sure I will watch the movie. I will never deny reading them. But that's only because I can follow up with discussing more meaningful books and substantial contributions the literary world.