January 1, 2013
It came in like a lamb, so we can only assume that the rest of the year will be mighty like a lion right?
I am sitting here in the silence of my dining room, with the peace and quiet and the peace of mind that my kids are with their Mimi, which means they are in their happy place.
I woke up in bed this morning with this urge to write.
Write about the New Year, and who I want to be.
Fresh year, fresh calendars, deep breaths.
I don't have any lofty resolutions this year.
Lose 20 lbs? Always.
Kick a nasty habit? Don't have any.
The thing is, the things I want to change in 2013 can't be accomplished with a treadmill or nicotine gum.
In 2013 I want to be happy. Like, I want to be one of those people that you see in the grocery store who still looks pleasant and approachable even when no one is watching her.
I have a frown wrinkle. I am 26.
Something's not adding up.
Am I stressed? Probably. But why?
Am I grouchy? Yes. But Why?
So as I lay in bed this morning, I began a list of simple things that make me happy and it's my goal this year to give myself more of those things and teach myself to APPRECIATE them and not let them pass me by.
Why not get up a little earlier before the family so that I can enjoy it, instead of trying to have a cup in the craziness of finding lost socks, a specific pink blanket or finishing a homework project and making breakfast? I should be enjoying those moments with my kids, not trying to kick them off my legs as I scramble to stir in my cream and sugar.
I love to blog. But I always feel guilty. Should be doing the laundry. Should be playing on the floor with the kids. Should be snuggling with Reese while she still thinks its the best thing in the world. But why does guilt win? Why can't I have both? Why not tweet and link up and blog in the mornings? That's a compromise. I can blog my little heart out in the mornings and after 8:00 p.m. No guilt equals no frown marks.
Another thing that makes me happy that I NEVER DO for myself?
Curly hair, don't care.
20 minutes in the bathroom with a scorching hot curling iron and a few burn marks on my pinky were totally worth feeling like I was in a Shampoo commercial for the evening.
Self confidence via my looks does not happen very often for me, so why don't I give this to myself more often? Why settle for just blow drying it when I could spend a little more time and make it look like this?
Because I don't take care of myself enough.
Couldn't happiness come in the form of self confidence? And while I am at taking care of my hair, why not my body? Why do I let my weight bother me and still not do anything about it? Why am I robbing myself of self esteem? If resolutions really worked, losing weight would be at the top, but it's not about that. It's about knowing that if I did it, if I worked out and took care of myself and stopped finishing the kids' leftovers, I could feel like I was in a shampoo commercial every day. Any commercial, for that matter. I'd kill to be one of those spunky, brightly clad gals in the Old Navy commercials. Those girls must be on happy crack. I bet they don't have frown marks.
Other little things that make me happy that don't cost much?
Those little cherries in fruit cocktail. Singing out loud in the car. Folding laundry while it's still warm. Reading myself to sleep. Throw blankets on the couch. Always having a full battery on my cell phone. Ketchup. Having a plan for dinner before I get home from work. The quietness of my house before any one else awakes in the mornings. Candle light. A new book. An old book. Searching Etsy.com. Pinning inspirational and romantic quotes on Pinterest. Blogging. Tweeting. Rolling my eyes at people's facebook statuses. The home decor section at Target (which does cost but not if you're just browsing) Hobby Lobby. Coach Factory Sale emails. playing with Strawberry Shortcake dolls and Legos. Board games, coloring, and singing lullabies. Reading to the kids at bedtime. Painted nails. Making greeting cards. Making felt flowers and wreaths. Sending thank you notes.
Phone calls and emails from my best friends.
And that, friends, is what I want to spend the new year doing.
And in turn, being a better person, because I feel better on the inside.
And surely, that happiness will come out from the inside and ease the frown line, won't it?