If Tantrums Were Acceptable, I'd Throw Them Everyday


Have you seen this hilarious video yet? Watch it, I'll wait right here. 


First of all, I need to know who the hell has been following me around with a video camera for the past year. 

Sneaky little bastards. 

Anyhooters, this video got me thinking. There are aLOT of things that make me want to throw a tantrum. 

When R2 throws fits, it starts with her throwing her cute little butt to the floor, where she then covers her face with her little fairy hands and yells "dis is the whoa-se day eva!! 

And I can't blame her. Whenever someone doesn't allow me to wear my dirty, holey Hello Kitty ballet slippers to the grocery store, I feel like the world is ending as well. 

But really. There is totally a list of things that make me want to stomp, throw things, cry, yell and basically just quit. 

And they are, in no particular order: 

1. Slow drivers in shitty cars. I know that sounds terrible, but I just can't. ES-pecially is there's nothing in front of them causing them to slow the whole damn world down. On the interstate, if there's no one in front of you, GO. Going 4 over the limit is totally acceptable. I've been doing it for 10 years and have never been pulled over for it. (I have been pulled over for doing 20 over, so don't do that). 


2. The sizes at Starbucks. Oh, I can't just say large and get a legit LARGE? I LOVE you Sbucks but sometimes, I swear. What is it about my appearance that makes you think I only want a TINY amount of caffeine? Is it the messy top knot, the smudged eye glasses, the bags under my eyes? Or is it the screaming children in backseat??  I don't care if I forget to speak in Italian, I WANT THE BIGGEST ONE YOU HAVE. 



3. Slow walkers. If I get stuck behind you in a throng of people,  there's a huge chance that you're not walking fast enough. There are a couple things that make me literally itch. 1) Touching people I don't know 2) Crowds. I HATE crowds and if I am stuck walking closely beside, in front or behind you, there is undoubtedly an inner battle raging inside my head, one side telling me to hit the floor in the fetal position, the other side is to just start babbling and swatting at people so they are forced to give me more personal space bubble. 

4. When my phone doesn't work. Yes, I know I should be thankful to even have a phone, let alone one that doesn't have a green screen a flip top or that damn Nokia ringtone. I am thankful to have a smart phone with Instagram-capabilities, with which I can also talk to text. All very useful and appreciated-WHEN THE BLOODY THING WORKS. When it doesn't, when it randomly decides to stop functioning, I want to throw it across the room, cross my arms over my chest and cry. I can't help it. Sometimes, I sit there and press "Call" 5 times in a row because it's frozen and for some reason I think it will actually make it work. And then throw it. Then, 30 minutes later, it starts WORKING finally and manfriend says.."is there an emergency? You just called me 5 times in a row and no one was there..." No. My phone apparently works on its own personal schedule. How convenient. 

5. Putting on jeans/real pants. Don't tell me leggings aren't pants. Pants are things you put on your legs to cover your body. Leggings do that job perfectly fine while keeping my totally comfy WITH elastic.  Not only does putting on real pants make me want to never leave my apartment, hearing people say my favorite lazy ass wear isn't acceptable  makes me want to pout like a baby. 



To the people at this shop: NO THERE ISN'T. 


Wow you know what? I actually feel relieved to get all of those tantrum inducing scenarios off my chest! Phew! Even though my blood pressure actually spike while writing about them, it was nice to just get those out there! 

Now please tell me I am normal and share your stories of want makes you want to go into tantrum mode!