What To Duck From When You Have a Son- A Birthday Post for R1

R1 turns 7 today.

Seven.

How have I had a child for longer than I spent in high school? How has it been over a decade that he has been invading my personal space, taking way-too-big "sips" of my pop, and making me giggle when he should be getting trouble?

I have no idea. But wow, does the saying "time flies when you're having fun" ring true when I think of my boy.


In the last 7 years I've called 911, been to the ER twice, been called by the principle, pulled out countless splinters, heard one too many butt jokes and skipped hundreds of bedtimes. 

Just the other night, when an "experiment" with food coloring turned my yellow kitchen rug an ugly brown, I was going off my hinges, yelling at him to go to his room and for the love of baby Jesus, go take a shower, you stink!"



But the minute he is out of the living room, I miss him. Well, not immediately, but I do notice how quiet the house is without him. And I don't always like it.

What R1 has taught me about life are lessons that can never be taught from the "What to Expect When You're Expecting." Maybe I should write my own bestseller, "What to Duck From When You Have a Son." It would have lists of all the things that get thrown at you. Dirty socks and weird questions like why do boogers get hard and if dogs can poop outside, why can't I?" 


Also, Legos (when you aren't stepping on them) are flying by your nose all the time. Along with screams from his poor little sister because he's chasing her around the house with a can of air freshener. And screams from the boy himself when I tell him to clip his fingernails or take a shower. These are the things you need to know about when you have a boy. Their feet stink way before you think they will. They will ALWAYS get food on their face no matter how careful you are. And simply licking your thumb and rubbing it off before dropping him off for school won't cut it. That stuff is there to stay. 





These adventures are just that. And they are fun (testing at times, but still fun). I yell, I throw my own tantrums as the result of some of these "adventures" sometimes but I still wouldn't trade him for the world. 

Yes, there have been times (more recently than ever) that I look at my little man, who gets perfect grades at school, whose teachers have always called him a great helper and compassionate friend, and I just wonder "what in the HELL where you thinking?" But all of the good things he says and does outweigh the bad. As his mom, I truly believe that his episodes of misbehavior are the best opportunities for learning life lessons, so I take them all in stride. (After having breakdowns on the phone with my sister, first of course.) 


But life without him would be so boring. Cleaner, less smelly and quieter, yes. But boring. Less sunshine, less snuggles, less goofy faces. Who wants to live a life with no cheesy smiles? Not this mama. 

Yesterday I read an article about being the mom of "That Kid"- you know the ones your kids are always telling you about who get into trouble or annoy everyone during quiet time. I'm not convinced R1 is "That Kid" but even if he is sometimes, as long as he knows the difference between wrong and right, I am not ashamed of him and I won't ask him to change his boisterous ways. 

Because that's him. And it's been 7 years that he's been this way and I can't imagine life any other way. 


Happy Birthday, Ryder Cash. You are so loved!