When I read The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, I was anticipating funny anecdotes about her sexcapades...I got a huge kick out of Trainwreck and hoped that her book would contain many funny stories just like the movie. And it totally delivered. But unexpectedly, it was also much, much more.
I have to admit, some of her jokes make me cringe...only because they are so honest and I wish I could be the "lay it all out there" kind of girl. My only criticism of her is that she is too hard on herself. Her "fat girl" jokes get a little old only because she's certainly not fat at all and she should be using her platform to say "I'm beautiful" not "I don't care that I am fat." But I know insecurities often get the loudest microphone because putting them out there as a joke makes it easier to handle. I get that. I've been that girl for most of my life. I saw Amy onstage at the Critic's Choice Awards last year and I was in awe of her confidence and her ability to hold the audience's attention. People couldn't help but smile at her.
Her book didn't disappoint either. I was in love with her stories and her quippy, whip fast story telling style. But, when I got to chapter 4, I was a little taken aback when I saw the title: "I Am An Introvert" and I thought, "well that can't be right."
As I was reading, I realized the book was moving...and then after another second I realized the book wasn't moving (because that's crazy, I know) but instead, it was me. My head, to be exact, was nodding over and over again. She was describing me.
I've gotten to the point where I thought maybe I was depressed. I don't enjoy going to large functions where there are lots of people. I stress whenever it's time to get dressed up. As soon as I leave the house, I start counting down the hours where I can return to my couch, my blanket, my book and my comfy clothes. Home.
Amy wrote about struggling with the balance of enjoying people's company and being a creative soul who needed to collaborate in order to practice her art...but at the same time, craving a quiet in her mind that could only be fed by spending time alone.
I need that. My kids know all about it and it's a lifesaver that they appreciate how much I need it. I have to say "Okay, guys-decompress time!" and off we go to our respective rooms for half an hour. That calmness is essential. I need to quiet my bones, my thoughts and my hamster wheel of a brain.
With a job that requires juggling many tricks in the air at once, with a life that has me wearing several hats all in the same day, the introvert side of me is saying "Leave me alone!" at least 10 times a day. You know in cartoons some people have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other?
With me, it's a super spunky, over friendly puppy dog who just wants to play and has major FOMO and on my other- a quiet, calm almost grouchy cat with resting bitch face that wants you to kindly step out of her personal space bubble.
I like being both of those. And honestly, until I read Amy's words, I didn't know you could do both. I think that I can be both, I just need to take a step away and give myself the peace when I feel my introvert side needing more oxygen.
I hope that others like me and Amy read her book and find comfort in her description and how being introverted isn't a bad thing, it's not depression and it's not sad. It's just a part of you. It's in the same category as my dislike for cucumbers and water chestnuts. It's one of my quirks- like pulling on my eyebrows when I am stressed or how I need a fan and my blanket for a good night's sleep. I need a quiet place to gather my thoughts.
Any other introverts reading this? What's your favorite way to introvert?